Archive for the ‘Weight Loss’ Category

Bitches, I am down to 281 lbs. That’s right: I’ve lost 24 lbs. since May. FUCK ME, I AM AWESOME.

Last night I went shopping with my girlfriend, E.  I was able to slip into a pair of trousers two sizes smaller than what I was wearing. I looked at my ass in the mirror, and I promise you I got wet. If I were some ghetto tranny, I’d say THAT AZZ WUZ BANGIN, SON. But since I’m not that ghetto, I’ll just say that my ass looked incredible. The best part of being fat is T’n’A. Speaking of tits, I got a push up bra that takes my cleavage to new dimensions. They look so big and juicy they look fake. I turned myself on, and I ran into a wall looking down at them. I’m pathetic, I know. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow evening, and I’ll have to have E. take some pictures of me in my new ensemble. Maybe I’ll have her take pictures of my tits, too. One never knows. I do get handsy after a few gimlets.


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Weight loss update

Well, I began contemplating/attempting weight loss about a year ago, on April 20th, 2007. On that day, I was 340 lbs. Today I am 305 pounds. That’s 35 pounds, or about 3 lbs a month. Really, my biggest months for weight loss were April and May of 2007 (a 20 lb loss), gained some over Sept./Oct. of 2007, then another 20 lbs in December 2007 (for my vacation) and another 15 lbs between Feb 2, 2008 and April 11, 2007. So, I managed to lose 55 lbs, but somewhere over the course of the year I gained 20 lbs.

I am glad I have lost/kept off 35 lbs, but I am disappointed that the number is not higher. In a world filled with common sense and followed-through plans, I could’ve been over 100 lbs lighter at this time. Since I am not really the common-sense type, this didn’t happen. But, I am looking forward to this next year of more weight loss. My goal for April 20th, 2009 is to be 250 lbs.

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M. and I bought our tickets to New Orleans last week. OK price out of Fort Wayne, which I’m excited about because that means no driving to and from Indianapolis in December weather! My uncle D. will drive us to the airport.

I finally got up the nerve to weigh myself last Thursday. I gained back all the weight I lost over the summer.  I’m pretty upset, but not surprised. I stopped exercising, basically, except for the occasional stint at the gym and walking the dog. I injured my right foot about five weeks ago and that has prevented me from walking normally. It’s very painful. I thought maybe I had broken something, but before I went to the podiatrist I’m trying the DIY approach, since I don’t have health insurance. I’ve been icing my foot down, which helps, and taking anti-inflammatories, like Aleve.

Ever since I bought my new trainers in May they hadn’t fit right. I could almost slip my foot out of the shoe fully tied, and the shoe’s heel constantly pulled and rubbed against my heel. I injured my foot by working a nine-hour day in these horrid shoes, and pulled a ligament or something that made putting my weight completely on my right foot impossible. I stopped by the shoe store where I buy my Birks and New Balances. Turns out the associate who helped me in May gave me a shoe that was an entire size too big. I measure a 9W but she gave me a 10EE. I returned the trainers she gave me and got a more heavy-duty orthotic for $11 more- the trainers I ended up with cost about $130, but I paid only $89 for them. I’ve been wearing the new shoes since Tuesday and I can already feel an improvement, but I’m still in pain. I’m worried that I’ve seriously injured my foot, and that this will prevent me from walking a lot in New Orleans.

Another issue I’m facing is getting in some sort of shape for this trip. I need to strengthen my ankles, calves and thighs for a lot of hilly walking, endurance walking, and get as much cardio in as possible. I need to be able to carry around this heavy body for six days straight! I’m trying to walk 1.5 miles every other day, and dance for 15-30 minutes every alternate day. Dancing really strengthens the peroneus longus, hamstrings and quadraceps muscles, as well as your heart.  For jokes, I’m trying to figure out how to do the MC Hammer dance, so I can embarrass E. when we’re in New Orleans.

I would love to go to dance clubs in NOLA. I LOVE dancing. I’m just worried about my body. I’m really, really fat. Would someone like me be able to get into a club? Around Fort Wayne, there isn’t such a thing as not being able to get into a club, you just pay the cover. I fear the rejection of both possibly not getting into a club, as well as the way people would look at me. As much as I like who I am, I know most people don’t like fat people. I’d go as far as to say hate.  When I was in Italy with M. I noticed the distain Italians had when they looked at me. One man even remarked that I was too fat, and that I should spend my money on books (which he was selling at a good price!) instead of food, since I looked like I had had enough. I still think about that.

So, I’ve been really watching what I eat. In seven days I lost five pounds. I’d love to keep that rate up and lost 35 pounds before NOLA. I’d still be obese, but I’d feel a lot more confident about myself. And losing more than 10% of your body weight can really change how you feel- more energy, less pain, etc. So, whatcha gonna do?? TRY!

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