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Archive for April, 2008

At war

So many things about the human body are conditional. Blood pressure, for example, adapts to changes in volume and force after 10 days. Salt sensory after hours. Pain- minutes. But deprive the body of something essential- food- and the body flips out. I’m on a diet, and I am now a crazy person.

Who knew my happiness was hinged on a slice of pizza, a pint of ice cream, or a bowl of noodles? Now that I’m not eating them, I am desperately aware of how badly my body needs them. Or so my body would like me to believe. I am at war with my stomach- I want to be thin, it wants me to be fat. It is content when it is full of ice cream, I would be happiest if I were in love.

I want a boyfriend. Obviously, being obese isn’t conducive to this process. I mean, I haven’t had a date in 18 months. My being fat and me dating don’t go together well. So, aside from the health benefits of being thinner, my motivation is to get a date. Since the middle of February, I’ve lost 15 pounds. I was 330, now I’m 315. By June, I’d like to be 275. By September, 240. By graduation- December 2010- 180. I know it’s possible- in one summer (2003) I lost 90 pounds. Shockingly, I lost the weight with diet and exercise. At my lowest, I was 228 lbs.

Wish me luck!

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